


The Adventures of Sheriff Ruby and Super Deputy Weiss!

by Mattricole



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Western, Comedic Violence, F/F, Minor Violence, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-04 06:10:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11549127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mattricole/pseuds/Mattricole
Summary: There's a new sheriff in town. She's tough, fast, and the best riflewoman in all the west! She's also a bit of a klutz and has the attention span of a corgi with adhd, but that doesn't matter! She can take on any villain, with the help of her Super Deputy! "Must you call me that?" Of course I do! How else are people supposed to know how much better you are than a regular deputy?





	1. Chapter 1

“Everybody get down on the ground, now!” A large man yelled, basting his shotgun into the ceiling of the bank in order to show just how serious he was. He chuckled as the occupants of the bank quickly fell to the ground, cries of panic emanating from all of them.

All except one.

“Howdy, pardaner,” The one person who was courageous and brave enough to stand up to the bank robber greeted, teeth flashing in a dazzling light as they slowly drew their custom made colt single action army from its holster, twirling it around their finger as they stared down the now shivering thief. “What a seems ta be all the commotion about, eh?” she drawled out rettatic- rettarta- ratec-

“Rhetorically.”

Yes, that, thanks Super Deputy! Anyways, her voice dripped with...that word, a smirk upon her lips. The big man’s cheeks puffed up angrily, his chest bouncing forward like a bowl full of jelly-

“That’s a terrifying image.”

-As he pointed his gun at the one who dared to challenge him!

“You gon dun plum done it now, sheriff!”

“Who talks like that?”

Villains, my Super Deputy! Villains talk like that! For it is an evil and sinister way to speak!

“...Right.”

Now where was I? Oh, right!

“You gon plum dun gone done it now, Sheriff!” The large man screamed, pointing his shotgun at the heroic sheriff, who stood there, still as the river-

“Aren’t rivers constantly moving?”

...Still as something that never moves, the sheriff chuckled at the robber, and with a shake of her head, she asked-

“You do realize that’s a single-shot shotgun, right?” 

The man froze, slowly moving his eyes towards his gun, and gasped in shock! She was right! It was a single-shot shotgun! And he had foolishly fired it previously in order to scare the inhabitants of the bank!

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Oh, but I am not, Super Deputy! The kidding I am currently doing is non existent, that is how much I am not kidding you! The man panicked, and as quick as he could broke open his gun in order to reload! But in his haste he forgot one important thing! 

The sheriff still had her gun! With a flick of her wrist and a mouth with a smirk-

“Please tell me that wasn’t a poor attempt at a rhyme.”

...It wasn’t. She pulled the trigger of her custom made colt single action army and blasted his gun away!

“Git on da ground, pardner, ‘fore I has ta hurt ya’ll!”

“Please tell me you don’t actually talk like that on duty.”

Uh, fyi super deputy, I’m a sheriff. You do realize that’s part of the job, right?

“...Whatever makes you happy.”

Thank you. Now, where was I? Oh, right! With no weapon for him to use, and all will to fight having left his body, the man sobbed and fell to his knees, allowing the greatest sheriff in all the west to take him in!

“And that’s how I saved the day!” Ruby finished with a flourish of her hand, sending her poker cards flying around her. “So, what do you think, Super Deputy Weiss?! Am I amazing, or am I amazing?”

“You’re certainly something alright,” Super Deputy Weiss replied, unable to put a stop to the smile that was beginning to surface. “That was very brave of you, Sheriff, though I have to say…” she trailed off, turning towards her head to look at the small, skinny man currently sitting in one of their cells for attempted robbery. 

“I can’t help but feel you exaggerated just a little bit.”

“...This was, like, a year ago,” Ruby said, shooting a glare at the skinny man as he opened his mouth to speak.

“Uh huh, sure,” Weiss replied, not bothering to bring up the fact Ruby had only been sheriff for a week. 

“Anyways!” Ruby started as she started picking her cards back up. “Now that I told you how my day went-”

“Didn’t you just say this all happened a year ago?” Weiss asked.

“...How was your day?” Ruby said, eliciting a smirk from Weiss by ignoring her question.

“It was a bit boring,” Weiss said with a shrug, leaning back into her chair as she shot a glare at her boss. “I was stuck in here all day because the sheriff forgot to do their paperwork for the entire week they were employed.”

“Oh, uh, well that’s…” Ruby trailed off, squirming under the deputy’s glare, before bowing her head, quietly muttering a small string of apologies.

“Whatever, it’s no big deal. Just don’t put it off next time.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“And don’t even think about-”

“Girls!” a small, portly man shouted out as he burst into the sheriff’s office.

“...Well, I was going to say ‘slacking off’, but I suppose that is one and the same,” Weiss muttered as the heavy set man gasped for breath.

“That’s cruel. You’re cruel,” Ruby replied before handing a glass over to their new guest. “What can we do for you , Mr Mayor?”

“Man! Gray hair! Has gun! Threatening!” he sobbed, throwing away the glass of water and thus earning himself a glare from Weiss.

“So helpful, Mr Mayor! You want to try being a bit more speci-”

“Mercury Black of the Cinder gang is here in town and is threatening to poison the water hole?!” Ruby shouted, panic evident in her voice.

“...How did you get that from-”

“Exactly!” The Mayor confirmed, nodding his head so quickly that Weiss was sure it would fall off from his shoulders. “You two need to do something! Anything!”

“Don’t worry, Mr Mayor!” Ruby said as she grabbed Crescent Rose, her custom made Lever Action Rifle that was decorated with what Weiss could only describe as crudely drawn roses. “Me and my Super Deputy-”

“My Super Deputy and I.”

“Will make due haste and stop Mercury Black’s nefarious plot!” And with that Ruby quickly ran out of the building, leaving both the Mayor and Weiss behind.

“Idiot,” Weiss muttered as she went over to Ruby’s desk and rummaged around in the drawers.

“E-excuse me, Ms. Schnee?” the Mayor called out quietly as he wiped away a bit of sweat from his brow. “But aren’t you going to go with-”

“She forgot to bring ammo,” Weiss interrupted as she lifted a box of Ruby’s custom ammunition. “You’d think the dolt would have learned by now,” she muttered with a shake of her head before grabbing her set of revolvers and four speedloaders and heading after her boss.

This was going to be one hell of a day.


	2. Chapter 2

“Can we please sit down and rest already? My feet are killing me!” Weiss whined, sweat dripping down her face as she did her best to keep up with her boss.

“Weiss, we’ve only been traveling for five minutes,” Ruby admonished, practically skipping as she maneuvered over bits of rock. 

“You said that five minutes ago. And five minutes before that, and another five before that, and several more times!” Weiss argued back, lifting her hat to block off the rays of the sun as she looked up to find it’s position. “In fact, by the position of the sun I’m fairly certain we’ve been traveling for at least an hour,” she growled before wiping her brow.

“Oh, you need to get out more, build up some stamina,” Ruby said as she passed over a canteen of water. “What if you have to run from a bear, or worse, a swarm of bees?”

“I wouldn’t run from the bear, I’d shoot it,” Weiss said before taking a large gulp of water. “Don’t know what I’d do about the bees though.”

“Oh, I know!” Ruby shouted as she raised her hand. “How about putting your back against a tree and twirling your guns around? Like-” Ruby paused, taking Weiss’ twin revolvers from her and twirling them around like a fan. “Like this!”

“...I was going to mock and deride you, but that might actually work,” Weiss nodded and took back her guns. “How much longer until we’re at the water hole?”

“I’d say…” Ruby trailed off, staring off into the distance. “At this pace we’ll be there in five to eight minutes, but it’s weird.”

“...What’s weird?” 

“He’s right there, Mercury I mean, he’s just there as if waiting for something,” Ruby said as she rubbed her chin in thought, before turning back to her partner. “I knew it, he only threatened to poison the water hole to get us here as fast as possible. He wants to ambush us.”

“Then why is he just standing there?” Weiss asked, staring off to the distance futily, she just wasn’t able to see what Ruby could.

“Most likely got tired of waiting, like a child in a candy store, he just can’t wait,” Ruby said as she grasped her rifle, running her finger across the wooden stock, her tongue stuck out in thought.

“What’s wrong? With your aim there’s no way he’s out of range, right?” Weiss asked, earning a nod from Ruby.

“Oh, I can get him easily from this distance. It’s just that we haven’t heard him monologue yet. It wouldn’t be fair to just shoot him in the knee and interrogate him without a monologue, right?”

“You can’t be serious?!” Weiss all but shouted, having great difficulty in resisting the urge to flick Ruby’s forehead. “You had us walk all the way here in order to stealthily make our way to Mercury, and now you want us to just waltz on up there just so he could monologue?! That’s ridiculous!”

“But Weiss! He’s a villain! He needs to monologue like in the dime novels!” Ruby whined, hoping that Weiss could see reason.

“Ruby, if we just walk on up to him he’s not going to talk to us, he’s going to kill us!”

“Ugh, you’re so boring,” Ruby sighed before receiving a flick to the head. “Ow! What was that for?!” 

“I am not boring,” Weiss muttered petulantly, earning a giggle from Ruby. “Look, our best course of action is to continue what we’ve been doing, sneak on up there and-”

“And what?” the two girls turned towards the voice, seeing none other than Emerald Sustrai, loyal henchwoman of Cinder Falls, pointing a pair of revolvers at the two Law women.

“Uh oh, sphagetti-”

“I swear if you finish that sentence I will let her shoot you!” Weiss threatened, causing Ruby to suck in her lips.

“What do you mean by let me-”

“-O’s!”

“Oh just shoot her already!” Weiss begged as she pointed a finger at Ruby, causing the young sheriff to giggle. 

“You’re such a cute cactus, Weiss.”

“D-do either of you realize what’s going on?” Emerald asked, jostling her guns at the two. “I’m literally one second away from killing-”

“I am not a cactus, Ruby Rose!” Weiss huffed, stomping her foot on the ground, earning a glare from Ruby.

“Wow, you’re not going to deny the cute part?” Ruby turned towards Emerald, sticking her thumb out at Weiss and shook her head. “Can you believe that? Talk about conceited.”

Emerald’s brow twitched, a snarl upon her lips. 

“I am not conceited! Saying I’m cute is a compliment, I’m not going to reject that!”

“Being called a cactus is a compliment too, but you rejected that!”

“In what world, Ruby Rose, is being called a cactus a compliment?!”

“I. Am. Here. To. Kill. You. Do you not understan-”

“Any sane world, Weiss!” Ruby yelled out, exasperated at Weiss’ lack of knowledge on the subject. “Honestly, are you even from this planet?”

“I could ask you the same thing!”

“That’s it, killing you both!” Emerald yelled, two loud bangs rang throughout the area. Her eyes widened in shock as her twin pistols flung out of her hands, a smirking Weiss before her with two smoking guns.

“Too slow,” she said smugly, now pointing both guns at Emerald’s head.

“H-how? When?” Emerald muttered. She hadn’t seen a thing. One moment she had the two idiots cornered, and the next Weiss had somehow drew both her guns and blasted hers away before she could even pull the trigger. Only one word could describe it. “Impossible.”

A chuckle came from Ruby, who had finally taken her lever action rifle off it’s sling. “Why do you think I call her ‘Super Deputy’? She’s the fastest drawer in all the west!”

“Second fastest,” Weiss corrected. “My sister is much faster than I.”

“Not from what I saw, but you keep telling yourself that,” Ruby muttered as she dropped to one knee and loaded her gun. “Mercury’s still by the water hole, we got Emerald, and if he’s half as boring as her I’m just going to incapacitate him.”

“Rubber bullet?” Weiss asked as she pointed one gun to the ground, prompting Emerald to get on her knees and lay down.

“Rubber bullet,” Ruby chuckled, a devilish grin upon her face as she pulled the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose Weiss as the revolver duelist because Myrtenaster is a combination of a revolver and rapier. Had Ruby trained as extensively as Weiss with revolvers she would probably be a faster drawer, but in this au she prefers rifles.
> 
> Ruby also has amazing eyesight, to the point she can see things other people can’t. If a shot is impossible to pull off, chances are she can pull it off. Honestly, it kinda feels like both are OP, but this story is primarily meant as a comedy, so let me know if the stories a hit or a miss!
> 
> PS Cinder won’t go down so easy.


	3. Chapter 3

Darkness was all Emerald could see. Either the room was completely black or they had blindfolded her, though the latter made absolutely no sense to her. They were law woman, of course they would have taken her to the sheriff’s office. Not only that, but she couldn’t feel anything covering her eyes nor her face, so that could only mean that the room was simply pitch black.

The one thing she could feel, however, was the tight bindings that held her arms behind her and her legs strapped to the chair she sat upon. Normally this would have been easy for her to break out of, but whenever her arms twitched, or her toes curled upon themselves-

“Don’t even think about it,” a voice would whisper, gently into her ear, causing shivers to run down her spine. Someone was in here with her, watching her every move. How they did this was beyond her, even after hours inside this room her eyes had yet to adjust. She could understand somewhat if it had been the Sheriff, after all her eyes were legendary despite her being in office for only a week. But this wasn’t the Sheriff, oh no, the voice was much too gentle, too quiet to have been the sheriff’s.

It was much too threatening. It was a voice that promised death, one that could rival her beloved boss Cinder’s.

It didn’t help matters that the only thing she could hear, other than her jailors, was the scream of her partner every so often. Screams so painful, so guttural she could feel the fear in them. What could they be doing to him that would make him scream as so? What kind of torture could a naive little girl such as the Sheriff bring herself to do?

The screams had finally stopped. Had Mercury talked? Or did he pass out from the pain? What if it was worse than that? What if he had…

‘No, I mustn’t think like that!’ Emerald thought to herself, mentally shaking away the image of her friend’s corpse. ‘There’s no way the Sheriff would stoop so-’ 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a bright light, causing her eyes to scream in pain as she shut them as tightly as she could.

“Well, that was disappointing,” she heard Ruby mutter. “I gotta say, your friend was a tough one, passed out before I could get anything out of him.” Emerald heard the swishing of water inside of a bucket, as if someone were washing their hands.

“W-what did you do to him?!” Emerald demanded, doing her best to sound as intimidating as possible, but it was to no avail. Ruby had simply smirked, walking back to the door and slowly shutting it.

“The same thing I’m going to do to you.”

And with not another word spoken, she felt a searing pain inside of her ear, like nothing she had felt before. It was as if Ruby was sending billions of volts of lighting directly into her ear, causing her to squirm inside of her chair.

All she could do was scream.

\---Line Break---

Weiss was sitting in her chair, doing her best to relax. She had no desire to watch Ruby at work, the things she was doing to both Mercury and Emerald disgusted her to no end. She couldn’t even bring herself to watch over Emerald as she awaited her ‘torture’, and had simply called in a favor from a friend.

‘Is this really necessary?’ she would ask herself constantly, the screams of Ruby’s victims echoing throughout the office. It honestly sent shivers down her spine. She made a mental note never to get on Ruby’s bad side, it seemed like a dangerous place to be.

Several minutes went by until Emerald’s screaming had subsided. Had Ruby finally broke the girl in? Or had Emerald passed out like her ally before her? Weiss could only guess as Ruby finally left the room with a smile.

“She finally caved in,” Ruby said as she wiped her fingers with a piece of cloth. “We finally have Cinder’s location, she’s hiding out in the abandoned Schnee Mine’s just a little ways north.”

“Well that’s cliché,” Weiss muttered with a roll of her eyes. “And it figures it has to be a schnee owned property, even when I’m trying to get away from my family I have to interact with them on some level.”

“Oh Weiss, chin up!” Ruby said as she slung her rifle over her shoulder. “We’re taking on one of the most wanted criminals in all the west! We’re going to be heroes!”

“Yay,” Weiss exclaimed with all the enthusiasm of a hedgehog getting devoured. “I just hope my father has nothing to do with this, I don’t need him dragging our name even further in the mud than he already has.”

“Hmm,” Ruby paused, scratching her chin in thought. “How much you wanna bet that he is involved?” Ruby asked, causing Weiss to laugh loudly.

“You should know by now that I never take a bet I can’t win!” and with a smile she gathered her own things, making sure that her revolvers were fully loaded and checking to see if Ruby had all the ammo she would need with her. “What are we doing about Mercury and Emerald? Is it really okay to leave them unsupervised?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, Blake agreed to watch over them,” Ruby said with a smile, though that quickly vanished in favor of a look of confusion. “Said something about wanting you to owe her something?” and with that Weiss couldn’t stop herself from sighing.

“Great, like I don’t owe her enough favors,” she growled, though at that moment another thought had came to her. “Hey Ruby, what did you do to those two? Had to be something horrible for them to react like that, so what was it?” she asked carefully, earning a chuckle from Ruby.

“What my sister used to do to me to get me to confess,” she said with a knowing smile. “A vicious wet willy.” 

\---Line Break---

Though it was doubtful that Cinder would know the two of them were coming, Ruby had decided to err on the side of caution and walk to their destination, using the rocky terrain to their advantage, something their horses would be unable to travel upon. The best part of this plan was the time in which they would end up at their destination, midnight. Under the cover of darkness the two would sneak in, scout around to find out Cinder’s strength, find any weakness in her makeshift stronghold, and take advantage of it.

Ruby felt the best plan was to silently snipe their enemies from afar. Her eyesight was the greatest in the world, and even with the cloudy night sky making it far more difficult to see, Ruby would still be able to see better than all but one person, and that person was currently at her office watching over Cinder’s lackeys.

Weiss, however, had a plan that was a bit more… forthright.

“You want to blow up the mines?!” Ruby exclaimed uncharacteristically. 

“It would be over in an instant,” Weiss muttered, a terrifying grin upon her face. How could she not smile at the images of her father’s abandoned mine blowing up, a cascade of rock and boulder collapsing upon itself in a blaze of glory. Oh, how the arrogant old fool would be furious. Weiss knew the only reason he still kept it was for the inane reason of not wanting anyone else to own the land, to recondition it into something useful. Sure, Weiss herself couldn’t think of what to do with it, but that didn’t mean someone more imaginative couldn’t.

“That seems a bit… excessive, don’t you think?” Ruby asked, unable to hold back the shiver of fear from seeing such a maniacal grin upon her Super Deputy’s face. It was also kind of hot, but she wouldn’t say that aloud.

“It would be glorious,” Weiss argued back. 

After arguing for several hours as they made the slow trek towards the abandoned mines, Ruby’s plan unsurprisingly won out, much to Weiss’ vexation. 

“If it makes you feel any better, the next time someone decides to use your Dad’s old abandoned mine THEN we can blow it up to smithereens, heck, I’m pretty sure we can get Yang to help!” And with that small promise Weiss’ mood improved drastically.

By the time the two’s discussion were over, midnight had rolled around and, just as Ruby had predicted, they made it into their positions, high atop a rocky hill overlooking the abandoned mine, and what they saw shocked them.

Several men, whose looks just screamed “bandits”, were scattered in front of the mines, all sitting around a campfire, a pot of what Ruby assumed to be food cooking over a roaring flame. Ruby had expected the opening of the mines to be clear, she had planned to send Weiss down there to cause a bit of commotion to get them to leave the mines, she didn’t expect this! For the bandits to be just sitting around like sitting ducks! 

“Either they’re really confident that they won’t be found out,” Weiss began, looking through her binoculars, scouting out for signs of Cinder. “Or they’re just really stupid.”

“I don’t see Cinder anywhere,” Ruby muttered, able to see better than even Weiss’ binoculars. “Do you know if there are any exits other than the entrance?”

“Not that I know of,” Weiss said with a shake of her head. “I even looked at the old blueprints for these mines, so if there is another ext it would have had to been made after Father abandoned it…” she trailed off, estimating how long it would take to make a new exit while factoring in with how long the mines have been abandoned.

“Well?” Ruby asked as she poked Weiss several times, much to the super deputies annoyance.

“Don’t rush me,” she growled. After re-doing her calculations for errors, she finally came to a decision. “Eh, maybe,” she said with a shrug, earning a groan from Ruby.

“Seriously, Weiss? You don’t know long it takes to make an exit for a mine?”

“Well excuse me for having zero interest in my father’s boring business,” Weiss snapped back, turning away from Ruby with a pout. “Does it matter? We should just expect the worse anyways, that way we’ll be prepared.”

“Oh please, don’t give me that crap,” Ruby admonished as she unslung her rifle and loaded in her special rubber bullets. “The worse that could happen is for a meteor to fall from the sky and crash into the mines, killing Cinder and all the possible information she has on her associates-”

“Shut up, you know what I meant,” Weiss growled, earning a giggle from the girl next to her.

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself,” Ruby said as she bent down on one knee and finally aimed down her sights, targeting a random bandit. 

“You’re not going to use rubber bullets on Cinder too, are you?” Weiss asked as Ruby pulled her trigger, knocking out one of the bandits and causing the others to fly into a panic.

“No,” Ruby replied as she cocked her gun and once again pulled her trigger. “Cinder’s too dangerous, I mean, I know rubber bullets can kill and all,” another cock, ten more exit the mines. “But if Cinder resists like I know she will, I’d feel more comfortable using a silver bullet,” three, four, seven, and more fall, faster than Weiss can even count, and before she even knows it all the bandits lay on the floor. She watches the mines, waiting for even more to come out. But no one came. Either they learned their lesson and decided to stay put, or Ruby had just single handedly taken out each and everyone of them, save for Cinder of course.

‘Speaking of which,’ Weiss thought as she turned towards the sheriff. “You do know she’s not a werewolf, right?” Weiss asked, watching as Ruby stood back up, patting away the dust that now adorned her pants.

“You do know we have zero confirmation that she isn’t a werewolf, right?” Ruby shot back, loading her gun with silver bullets as Weiss groaned beside her.

“I swear you do this for the sole purpose of annoying me,” she muttered, following Ruby as she descended to the mines below.

“You can’t prove that,” Ruby replied, taking aim and slowly entering the mines, Weiss trailing behind her. They had to be cautious. No doubt Cinder knew they were here, she may not have seen them, but she most certainly heard the gunfire and shouting.

“Be careful where you aim,” Weiss whispered, aiming her twin revolvers in different directions. “My father, in his infinite wisdom, left barrels and barrels of TNT in here.” Ruby paused, before turning towards Weiss.

“That doesn’t sound very smart?” her statement sounded more like a question, her face clearly showing her confusion while Weiss’ own showed off her irritation.

“The “infinite wisdom” part was sarcastic, Ruby,” she explained, earning a nod from Ruby.

“Oh, that makes sense,” and with a smile, Ruby turned away and continued to slowly lead further into the mines.

Several minutes passed by, Weiss unable to see anything save for Ruby’s bright red vest. She chewed on her lip, being careful not to jostle her guns too much. Though she told Ruby earlier to be careful, she knew if anyone had to watch where they shoot it would have to be her. Ruby could easily see in this dark cave, which was the very reason as to why they decided against a torch, and if they were to successfully run into Cinder, Ruby would be the first to see and the first to pull the trigger.

‘Why am I even in here?’ Weiss asked herself, in this darkness she was more of a liability to Ruby, if anyone were to make a mistake to cause Cinder to find them first it would be-

“Oh crap!” Ruby shouted, causing Weiss to cringe as she watched her boss trip over her own two feet, the scream echoing throughout the mine. Hopefully the echo would confuse Cinder and-

“I knew I smelled a couple of rats.” Slowly breathing through her nose, Weiss cursed their own luck as the sultry voice echoed around them. 

“Cin-!” Weiss quickly slapped her hand around Ruby’s mouth, preventing the girl from shouting.

“Dammit, Ruby,” she hissed. “The louder you are the higher the chances of her finding-”

“You?” Cinder finished, a ball of flame in her hand illuminated the area around them, causing the two law woman to flinch. 

‘Suddenly I’m very grateful Ruby brought silver bullets,’ Weiss thought to herself, a twinge of fear taking place in her heart as she stared in awe of Cinder Fall, trying and failing to figure out how the woman was holding a ball of pure fire.

“Bet you’re grateful I have silver bullets now, aren’t cha?”

“Shut up,” Weiss replied, unwilling to admit the truth as she slowly pulled away from Ruby, eyes never moving away from Cinder. It was two on one, their best bet was to get Cinder from both sides, a pincer attack. If Cinder attacked one, the other would end her. 

“You’re not serious now, are you?” Cinder chuckled, keeping an eye on the Super Deputy. “You really think the two of you can take me? It doesn’t matter what you do, it’ll end the same way,” Cinder shrugged, staying perfectly still as the two law woman got into position.

“On the ground, now,” Weiss’ tone left no room for argument, yet Cinder still stood, a smirk on her lips as she stared at her, completely disinterested. “You’re wanted, dead or alive, and though I may not speak for Ruby, I personally would prefer the former.” She pulled back the hammers of her revolvers, leveling them at Cinder’s head with a snarl. “Last warning. On. The. Ground.”

Yet despite the threat, Cinder stood, as impassive as ever and with an ever present smirk. “Didn’t you hear me before, princess?” Cinder asked, the flames in her hand crackling in the ever silent mine. “It doesn’t matter what you do, it’ll end the same-”

And with that the flames went out, encompassing Ruby and Weiss in darkness as a shot rang throughout the cavern.

“Aaarrgh!” Weiss heard a scream, panic seizing her heart for a moment. What happened? Who was that? Was Ruby alri-”

“Got her!” 

“You bitch!”

A sigh of relief escaped Weiss. It seemed Cinder was far too cocky for her own good and ended up getting shot. “That’s what you get for posturing around like a child at a playground,” Weiss scolded, the darkness of the cave being the only thing hiding her smirk.

“Wait, I thought you liked good posture?” Ruby asked, pausing in her work to hog tie Cinder.

“Not what she meant, but thank you for the distraction,” And with a flick of Cinder’s wrist, Ruby was aflame.

“Ruby!” Weiss screamed, running towards the girl as she dropped to the ground and began rolling like a barrel down a hill.

“STOPDROPROLL!STOPDROPROLL!STOPDROPROLL!” Ruby continuously screamed, rolling around as fast as she could.

“Oh my god! Ruby!” Weiss screamed as she continued to follow her rolling companion, removing her own vest and slapping Ruby with it, hoping it would help quell the flames.

Ruby continued to roll for her life, eventually leading herself out of the mines and into the open air. Finally, after a full minute of this, combined with the slapping of Weiss’ vest, did the flames finally die out.

“It’s-it’s finally out,” Weiss gasped, falling to her knees as all her strength left her. “Are you...okay?” she asked, watching as Ruby laid there on the ground, gasping for breath.

“Y-yeah, I think so,” Ruby said, wincing as she finally stood up. “I was only burnt a little bit, I think,” she said as she checked over herself, and though her clothes were a bit singed, it didn’t look like the fire did any lasting damage to her skin.

“Good, good,” Weiss said with a nod, her breathing having slowed down as she stood and turned towards the mines. Cinder slowly emerged, glaring in their direction before quickly darting off into the opposite direction, away from the mines.

“Big mistake,” Weiss muttered, her fear from before being replaced with something else. “Ruby? Stay here for a moment, I’ll be right back,” she muttered, her face contorting into a hideous snarl as she made a slow jog towards Cinder

“Uh, you sure about that? What if she-” A loud bang interrupted her, causing her to wince as she watched Cinder fall to the ground, a feeling of pity taking root as she watched Cinder attempting to crawl away from the vengeful Super Deputy. “Uh, hey, Weiss! I don’t think she’s going anywhere now, so tie her up and-” she was once again interrupted by a loud bang, which was continued consecutively ten more times. “Or you can kill her. Violently. That’s fine, I guess,” Ruby muttered nervously as Weiss made her way back towards her.

“Let’s go,” Weiss ordered, earning a nod from Ruby.

“Yeah, Yang’ll be here in a bit to arrest these-Aah!” Ruby gasped as she was lifted bridal style. “W-what are you-”

“Quiet,” Weiss muttered, holding Ruby gently against her chest. “You’ll aggravate your wounds, so just stay still and let me carry you,” Weiss commanded, earning a blush from Ruby.

“O-okay,” she nodded, before doing a little fistpump. “Dreams do come true,” she muttered before wrapping her arms around Weiss’ neck.

“...Uh, not really comfortable with this, but okay,” Weiss muttered, now sporting her own blush as she slowly made her way back to town.

Or she would have, if they hadn’t met up with Yang five minutes later and just hitched a ride with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s the end of this story. This was always meant to be a short story, honestly it wasn’t even suppose to be this long. Just a bit of a quickie really. One thing I am disappointed about though is the White Rose. I mean, it’s really only hinted at the very end, so I could have probably done it better. I’m gonna label this as complete for now, but I might end up doing a wrap up chapter, don’t count on it though.
> 
> I also feel like the humor fell flat. This is primarily a comedy story, but I don’t think that worked out too well. Still, at least I wrote it out, so it made for good practice. Let me know what you guys think, tell me what works, what doesn’t work, and hopefully that’ll help improve my writing.


	4. Chapter 4

A week had passed since the incident with Cinder and her bandits. Though Ruby and Weiss received some hassling for killing Cinder, in the end, everyone agreed it was for the best. Weiss even got bounty money for it, which was odd given that sheriffs and deputies don’t receive bounty money, but Winter most likely pulled some strings. And now Weiss had more money than she knew what to do with.

Okay, that was a lie, she blew through a majority of the money in about a day with the help of Yang. It was odd how, despite their differences, Weiss and Yang got along quite well, especially during shopping sprees.

The little amount of money Weiss did save wasn’t going to last long, however. She had a very special plan for it. A plan involving Sheriff Ruby Rose.

“Ruby,” Weiss called out after she finished cleaning off her desk. “Do you have any plans after work?” 

“Eh,” Ruby replied, stifling a yawn as she leaned back into her chair, feet relaxing on top of her desk. “I’m thinking about just napping here till tomorrow. Yang’s been going on and on about all the crap you bought her…” she trailed off, casting a glare at the Super Deputy. “Thanks for that, by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” Weiss replied, ignoring the biting sarcasm. “I actually have a little bit of money left over, and since you’ve been working so hard I thought I’d reward you.”

“Reward?” Ruby repeated, suddenly jumping from her desk in excitement. “What kind of reward?!” Ruby asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Well, why don’t you tell me?” Weiss asked, taking a look into her wallet. “One hundred and fifty, that is what’s left over from the bounty. Whatever you want in that price range, I’ll get for you,” Weiss offered, eliciting a squeal from the slightly taller girl.

“Ooh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” Ruby screamed excitedly as she ran up and hugged Weiss. “Ooh, this is going to be so much fun! I know exactly what we can do together!” It was at that moment the night shift worker came.

“Hello, boss friend, Sheriff Ruby!” Deputy Penny greeted as she stormed into the office. “I am deputy ready!”

“Hey, Penny!” Ruby greeted with a wave of her hand, still holding Weiss in the other. “I see you’re as ready as usual! Keep that up and you’ll be a Duper Deputy in no time!” Ruby said, earning a grin from Penny.

“Ooh, I can hardly wait!” she said as she jumped over her desk and landed on her chair. “Hello, Weiss! Your hair is as lovely as ever!”

“Er, thanks, Penny,” Weiss muttered, earning a gasp from Penny.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I forgot you only enjoy those comments from Boss Friend Sheriff Ruby because it makes your heart beat-”

“Thank you, Penny!” Weiss shouted as she grabbed Ruby’s hand and quickly whisked her away, eliciting a giggle from Penny.

\---LineBreak---

When Weiss had offered to take Ruby anywhere she had expected to spend the rest of her evening at the candy store, buying so much candy that it would be unlikely for Ruby to show up to work for the next four days. 

“A bar?” Weiss asked, more than just a tad surprised.

“What? The place has great food, and great booze!” Ruby said as she licked her lips, once again surprising Weiss.

‘There’s no way she drinks,’ she thought to herself as Ruby led her to the counter. The bartender nodded in their direction, silently asking for their order. “I’ll have a chicken salad and a glass of your finest wine-”

“Don’t sell no wine,” the bartender said gruffly, before shrugging. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“It’s fine,” Weiss grumbled, before just ordering a shot of whiskey. “Ruby will be having the steak dinner and a glass of milk-”

“Weiss! I’m not a child, I can handle my booze, thank you very much!” Ruby chided, glaring at her partner before turning back to the bartender. “I’ll have the steak dinner and a shot of your finest whiskey,” Ruby ordered, earning a nod from the bartender.

“Yer funeral,” he muttered, setting two glasses in front of the girls and pouring the whiskey for them. “Hey, Helga, mind gittin’ me a chicken salad and steak dinner?”

“You sure you can handle this?” Weiss muttered, earning a glare from Ruby.

“Quit treating me like a child,” she growled, bringing the shot of whiskey to her lips.

“I’m just saying, you don’t seem like the kind of person-” 

“Errgh!” Ruby screamed, spewing the whiskey out of her mouth. “It burns! It burns! Oh god, milk! Milk! Milk!” she coughed, earning a growl from the bartender.

“Can’t handle yer drink, don’t git it,” he muttered, quickly passing her a large glass of milk.

“Thank you,” Weiss said for Ruby, who was too busy guzzling down the drink.

“Pah! Another!” she squeaked, downing the drink in a single gulp as soon as he finished pouring. 

“I warned you,” Weiss chuckled before quickly downing her shot. “Gah, this stuff is horrid,” she muttered, having handled her drink much better than Ruby. “Another shot, then I think I’ll switch over to water.”

“Sure thing, lil’ miss-” he paused at the vicious glare Weiss was giving him. “Er, ma’am. Sure thing, ma’am,” he muttered as he poured her another shot before getting a different glass out for her water. 

“Thank you,” she muttered, downing the shot quickly, this second drink causing her to involuntarily shiver.

“I’ll have another milk, please,” Ruby muttered, pale faced as she glared at the whiskey bottle before sticking her tongue out at it.

“Ruby, it’s a bottle of whiskey, you can’t hurt it-” and the bottle promptly fell off the counter, shattering all over the place.

“Haha! Take that, you stupid-”

“Yer paying fer that,” the bartender said as he placed their food in front of them. Ruby’s shoulders slumped at that, standing up from where she was to look down on the now shattered bottle of whiskey.

“You haven’t heard the last from me,” she muttered before slowly sitting back down.

“Ruby, stop,” Weiss ordered, stuffing a piece of chicken and tomato into her mouth. 

“Fine,” Ruby replied before wrapping one arm around Weiss’ shoulder. “So, beautiful, come here often?”

“This is my first time here, actually,” Weiss replied after swallowing, Ruby taking note that she didn’t remove her arm. “What about you?”

“I come here all the time, this is Yang’s favorite bar,” Ruby said with a shrug, scootching her chair closer to Weiss and praying she wasn’t taking things too far. “So, how’s your salad?”

“...It’s fine,” Weiss muttered, not wanting to insult the food in front of the owner. “Now, are you just going to make boring small talk or are you going to say what you want to say?” Weiss asked as she stared at Ruby, making her blush.

“Heh, that obvious, huh?” Ruby muttered, looking away to clear her throat. “So, you know... We’ve known each other for a long time-”

“Little more than two weeks.”

“And we get along pretty great!”

“I question your sanity more and more.”

“I enjoy spending time with you, and I think,” Ruby trailed off, scootching closer to Weiss once again until their bodies were touching. “I think you...might like me too.”

“You’re more tolerable than others,” Weiss said with a shrug, before leaning onto Ruby, her face as red as Ruby’s sheriffs' vest. “What’s your point?”

“Uh... my point is- Gosh, is it hot in here, or what?” Ruby chuckled, pulling at the collar of her shirt. “M-my point is...if you don’t mind...You wanna maybe kinda wanna go out...With...Me?” 

“Hmm, go out with you, huh?” Weiss muttered, pretending to mull it over in her head. “Well, I guess it might not be too bad,” Weiss said as she leaned away from Ruby to take a bite from her salad, before leaning back.

“Really?! Great!” Ruby nearly shouted, pulling away and going for a kiss.

“Whoa, hold it!” Weiss said as she placed her hand in front of Ruby’s face. “If you want a kiss you’re going to have to take me out on a date first!” 

“Ha ha ha, Is that so?” Ruby asked, wiggling her eyebrows. “Well, it just so happens that I did take you on a date! See?!” Ruby shouted as she stood, waving her arms about her. “Look at where we are! I took you out to dinner-”

“You took me to a bar, that’s a terrible first date,” Weiss replied, shaking her head at Ruby’s incompetence. “What, did you learn this from Yang?”

“...Maybe,” Ruby said quietly, shuffling her feet. “Uh...Then how about...Uh....” Ruby paused, tapping her chin in thought before shrugging. “Yeah, I got nothing.”

“Well, you got all day tomorrow to think of something,” Weiss smiled, finishing her salad and paying for their meals. “And by the way, I’m pretty sure that dog just stole your steak.”

“What?!” Ruby shouted, turning around and barely seeing a corgi run out the door with her steak. “You get back here you little rascal!” she shouted as she ran after the dog, causing Weiss to chuckle.

She was secretly rooting for the dog.

\---LineBreak---

There wasn’t much to do at night, Penny lamented as she flipped absentmindedly through yesterday’s paper. Sure, she could go out and patrol, but that would mean leaving Mercury and Emerald all alone, and she had a feeling those two would escape if given the chance.

“Maybe I can ask Ruby to get another Deputy?” Penny muttered to herself, before noticing someone entering the office. Getting up from her chair she raised a hand in greeting to the well dressed, red haired man. “Hello, how may I help you citi-” a loud bang resounded throughout the building before Penny noticed a slight pain in her abdomen.

“My name is Roman, and you can die,” Roman muttered, watching as the life...drained...from….His thoughts trailed off as he noticed the girl barely registered the shot.

“Huh, didn’t expect that,” Penny said with a shrug, unclenching her abdomen before grabbing her own gun.

“What? How are you not-” he paused, noticing some kind of...Metal? And oddly colored...Rope? “What? What is that?! What are you?!” he said as he slowly backed away, unable to stop his body from shaking with fear.

“What am I?” Penny repeated, a smile coming to her lips as she re-holstered her gun, realizing she wouldn’t need it. She grabbed Roman by the collar of his fine coat, bringing him closer to her face so they could look eye to eye. “I’m the future Duper Deputy.”

“...What?” he asked, confused beyond what was humanly possible before he was knocked out by a swift punch to the face.

Penny smiled as she hoisted the now unconscious man over her shoulder, walking over to the cell with the now quivering inmates. At this rate she really will become the Duper Deputy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I do decide to do a spinoff, it’ll be about Penny and Zwei, who after stealing Ruby’s steak becomes a deputy.

**Author's Note:**

> I kinda always wanted to do a RWBY wild west au, don’t know what else to say.


End file.
